Saturday 5 February 2011

Holy Superfreakonomics!


Sumo. Ahh yes, sumo. That most traditional of Japanese sports. One would go so far as to say, and indeed, one will, that it is a sport 'steeped' in tradition.
From the annual calendar of hallowed 'bashos' that trace their lineage back some 500 years or more, to the pre-bout purification ritual that involves scattering salt around the dohyo (ring).
Well, there going to need an awful lot more salt. Feckin truck loads of the stuff if recent events are anything to go by.
Earlier this week the police released transcripts from mobile phone text messages between sumo wrestlers fixing bouts. Money was promised in return for various big guys lying down and rolling over like cute little kittens when demanded. So far 14 of the big sweaty men have been incriminated along with their stable master (yes, they live in stables. And eat hay too). More are sure to follow as various critics allege that up to 80% of all matches are fixed.
And this is merely the latest in the long line of scandals that have scattered, eh, pepper over the sport, nay Japanese way of life. Prior to this there was more salt needed to account for the illegal gambling activities of a number of wrestlers, the sport's less than covert ties to the Yakuza, rampant marijuana use, death by hazing of young inductees into the sport, and perhaps most notoriously of all, the death on the same day, in the same hospital of two wrestlers who were about to go public with details of all sorts of nefarious goings amongst the men in the top-knots. The police declared them 'accidental deaths' but, Lord, Paddy Power wouldn't be able to offer you odds on two whistle-blowers dying by natural causes in the same hospital a mere couple of hours apart.
Anyway, the upshot of it all is that the Spring Tournament has been cancelled - the first time this has happened in 46 years, sponsors are fleeing, TV coverage cancelled, and the public disgusted. Put Brian Cowen in a mawashi and I could be describing Fianna Fail.
Some of these statuesque purveyors of a noble Japanese tradition are in fact, cheating bastards.

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