Have been

a little amiss of a late (a little?!) in keeping up with the footballing fest down Africa way. Bloody vuvuzelas. Can't concentrate with all that racket. But about them Dutch boys. Not just clogs, windmills and Heineken. Deservedly put a dour Brazil side out in a cynical match - 'gurrier football' on an international stage. And as for Uraquay's (boo! hiss!) even more cynical defeat of Ghana, well, it's not exactly looking like the beautiful game anymore, is it.

But perhaps that we will have our remedy tonight. German Blitzkreigers meet the team led by 'El Loco', the Crazy One. In terms of managerial style, the Germans are already ahead, their understated charcoal svelte suits and somewhat fey cardigans easily outclassing the roly-poly bag lady look favoured by Maradona. But the Argentinian players, it must be admitted, do have the better hair styles, Messi's moptop excepted. The Germans, having renounced the mullet, look like students who take turns sharing a shower once a week.

Prediction: If Argentina are a goal down with 20 minutes to go, a visibly coked-up Maradona to substitute himself into the game.

"Dieter, they're making fun of my hair. Schwein!"

In unrelated news. Big thunderstorm tonight. Just to add a little more water to the already moisture sodden air. Any more of this and we can expect fish to swim by our window.