The 2013 Date Half Marathon

As Paddy Power's newly appointed representative for Japan, Sanae 'The Turfmeister' Takahashi is offering the following odds on tomorrow's Date Half Marathon.
3-1 Daddy not to finish the race but to succumb to vicious stomach cramps somewhere around the 16km mark. Background: Yours truly was biologically blindsided by some food poisoning on Wednesday evening, or what the doctor said was "a touch of d'auld ebola virus". Thursday and Friday were two long days of emptying my stomach contents from both ends of my body. Today things have calmed down a bit but I am close to a kilo and a half off my preferred starting weight and not really in the mood for some intensive pasta-and-potatoes carbohydrate loading this evening.
5-1 Daddy to get detained by the Date police as a possible terrorist suspect. Background: After the terrible events in Boston last weekend the Date Five-O announced heighten security at tomorrow's event. Why? Because as any Al Queda operative worth his jihad salt instinctively knows, a strike at the heart of Hokkaido's strawberry growing capital will surely bring the Japanese infidel to his knees. And as the only foreigner who ever takes part in the race, I am, naturally, suspect number one.
10-1 Daddy not to finish the race due to, well, not being able to, basically. Background: too much criss-crossing the Pacific Ocean eating stodgy airplane food and not enough hard winter running means that my curtailed training has left me fit enough to run about 5km and after that, well, maybe it would be better if I got detained by the police before the race.
20-1 Daddy to get ambushed by a joint band of hobbits and dwarves somewhere around the notorious Kaminagawa Tunnel. Background: After last year's blog the guttural, rough-hewn word from the mines amidst the Toya hills is that the small bearded ones are gunning for me, or rather, axing for me and have teamed up with Sanae's brethern to get their revenge. Could get messy.
50-1 Daddy to go surfing instead. Background: tomorrow is supposed to be a bright sunny day, with an offshore breeze and and a gentle one metre swell. And I am less likely to be set upon by enraged hordes of the vertically challenged. Tempting.
1000-1 Daddy to finish under two hours. Background: none. There's not a feckin chance of that happening. Not unless I figure out the secret to time travel somewhere around the 14km mark. Or they preemptively end the race at the 14km mark.